


i swear i could fly

by orphan_account



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "dally?" johnny spoke up. dally hummed in response and johnny let out a shaky breath."have you...have you ever really loved someone? but, then, you like- you thought it was wrong to love them?" johnny asked and dally noticeably tensed up. johnny sat up straighter and dallas let go of him from his embrace."i-i mean, 'course. at one point, haven't we all?"





	i swear i could fly

**Author's Note:**

> hey i havent updated the hs au sorry but heres something that i like but is really cheesy lmao

it was pouring outside. thunder rumbled and lightning lit up the sky like flashing lights. johnny was hidden under the roof of some abandoned building. it was chilly and goosebumps littered johnny's arms. also followed by cuts and bruises. his lip was busted open and he recognized the metal taste of blood. he had a cut on his jaw, dripping down his neck, and a forming black eye. his old man had got to him again. his sides ached from where he had been kicked, and he swore one of his ribs broke. he shed the ashes of his cigarettes to the side of him. a loud clap of thunder startled him and he swore under his breath. he sighed and took another long drag of his cigarette.

he didn't know what the boys were doing. darry and pony were probably home, while soda was with steve. god knows where two bit is. and dally. dally was out most likely causing trouble and trying to not get booked. 

man, that boy. that's what caused johnny and his dad's fight. johnny admitted he loved dally to his mom, who he thought wouldn't really care but lecture him for it, but it got back to his dad. boy, was he not happy. he should be used to the pain. but this time it felt different. he got beat down because of something he cared about. _someone he loved._ he shook his head and dragged his cigarette against the concrete. he didn't feel like smoking anymore. everything was throbbing. 

johnny wanted to scream. yell out. call for help. but it wouldn't do anything. no one would hear him, and if they did, wouldn't come to his aid. he just wanted to curl up into a ball and just slowly fall asleep. forever. he wouldn't want to wake up. 

he looked out into the field. gravel and spurts of short grass. it was empty. he thought the cabin he was leaning against used to be for a crossing guard or something. it was probably livable. no, that was stupid. he couldn't live in a room half the size of his bedroom. he wanted to go somewhere. but he had nowhere to go. he didn't want to interrupt anyone. he ran a hand through his raven hair and held out his arms to stretch. 

he looked at his injuries. he bit his lip and dropped his arms. he traced his finger over the dagger in his pocket. he took it out and ran his hand over it, careful not to cut himself. he started tracing marks and random lines into the ground, dulling the perfectly pointed tip of the unused dagger by just a bit. he carved his name into the ground, but covered it with gravel. he looked up and saw a dark figure walking around. he swore it looked like- dallas. of course, dallas winston. the one person causing all his problems at the moment.

"johnny? that you?" dally called and johnny waved him over. dally jogged over to him and grinned at him. he was completely soaked head to toe. johnny shook his head.

"what are you doing, dal?" johnny asked as dally slumped down next to johnny, leaning on the concrete wall. dallas shrugged and examined johnny.

"your pops hit you again." dally asked, which was more of a statement. johnny nodded. dally carefully took johnny's jaw and examined his cuts. he ran his thumb over johnny's scar and johnny's heart was pounding. dally pursed his lips and let go, looking out to the field. 

"we were looking for ya. you really worry us sometimes, johnnnycakes." dally chuckled, pulling out his pack of cigs. he offered one to johnny and johnny pushed them away. dally furrowed his eyebrows. 

"you 'aight kid?" dallas asked and johnny shrugged. dally wrapped his arm around johnny's shoulder and pulled him closer to him.

"dally, you're soaked." johnny groaned, trying to push dally away. dallas laughed and kept a firm grip around johnny. johnny gave up and just leaned on dally's shoulder. he enjoyed the contact, but it would be better if dally wasn't freezing wet. they sat there silently, johnny breathing in dally's cig smoke and dally just looking out into the field. 

"dally?" johnny spoke up. dally hummed in response and johnny let out a shaky breath.

"have you...have you ever really loved someone? but, then, you like- you thought it was wrong to love them?" johnny asked and dally noticeably tensed up. johnny sat up straighter and dallas let go of him from his embrace.

"i-i mean, 'course. at one point, haven't we all?" dallas simply said, trying to stay cool. johnny nodded. this was wrong. his feelings were wrong. dallas was so straight. everyone was straight. johnny would find no one. he wants to admit how he feels. he really does. but it'd ruin everything. dally would laugh and spit on him. he'd tell the whole gang and they'd want nothing to do with him. johnny didn't know he was crying until he let out a sob. dally gave him a concerned look. 

"johnny, what's up with you?" dallas asked, turning himself to look straight at johnny. well, there's nothing to lose. he could just kill himself if everything turned out horribly.

"d-dal...i think, i _know.._ i love someone who i-i'm not supposed to," johnny started and dallas put his hand on johnny's shoulder.

"we ain't got the whole world, spit it." dally said, but with a contradicting comforting tone.

"i love _you,_ dallas. s-sorry." johnny said. dally's mouth fell open a little bit. he took his hand off johnny's shoulder and cleared his throat. johnny frowned and his breathing sped up a bit. he knew this would happen. fuck, fuck, fuck...

"i, er, i'll go dally. you can...yeah, thanks." johnny said quickly, scrambling up. he shoved his hands in his pockets, but dally grabbed his arm, pulling him back down. johnny yelped and his side hurt like shit. 

"what?" johnny asked. his pupils were dilated and the bleeding stopped, but was drying.

"why? why do you like me? gosh, johnny, i would think you hate me." dally asked. johnny's lips curled, but didn't reach a full smile.

"i-i guess it's 'cause you actually care 'bout me. my folks barely acknowledge me, and when they do, it's to either get yelled at or beat. and yeah, the whole gang cares, but i just...guess you care more?" johnny explained, feeling the tips of his ears getting red.

"i'm guessing 'cause it's also of my very good looks." dally smirked and johnny mumbled a 'yeah', his cheeks getting hot. he didn't mean for dally to hear, but he did, and a big grin spread across his face. he let out a whistle and took one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out.

"damn, then, means i finally get to do this." dally put his hand on the back of johnny's neck, bringing their lips together. johnny was startled and kept his eyes wide open. he put a hand on dally's chest and once dally pulled away, it felt like he was out of breath.

"dal...what?" johnny was confused. he saw dally with the girls. he lived off them. but _johnny?_

"a guy can like a girl, a guy can like a guy. you don't hear 'bout it much, but it exists." dally smiled.  that made johnny smile. a hearty one. it meant a bunch. johnny didn't smile a lot.

and neither did dally. but, at least they had each other to make the other smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> ok the outsiders has been fucking me up and i love it and 1983 matt dillion is my kink k bye comments and kudos appreciated
> 
> also theres a phan thing coming out soon yeet


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